500+ Good Morning Funny - Funny Good Morning Quotes

Here’s a list of funny good morning quotes and sayings that you can use to bring a smile to someone’s face.

Good Morning Funny

“Good morning! Let’s all be thankful we’re not zombies. Yet.”
“Rise and shine! And if that doesn’t work, coffee and shine.”
“I need coffee to help me change from ‘no talkie’ to ‘no talkie without coffee’. Good morning!”
“Good morning! I see the assassins have failed.”
“My bed and I had a breakup this morning. I think it’s serious this time.”
“I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up. Good morning!”
“Good morning! Remember: The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.”
“Mornings are like almost clean slates. I say ‘almost’ because the residue of yesterdays is sometimes stuck to them. Good morning, anyways!”
“If you ever see me jogging, please kill whatever is chasing me. Good morning!”
“Good morning! Time to rise and shine. Don’t worry, you can still go back to bed tomorrow.”
“I think I’m allergic to morning. Good morning, anyway!”
“Morning paradox – it takes forever to fall asleep and only a second to fall asleep in the morning.”
“Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day. Good morning!”
“I love the morning without an alarm. Unfortunately, today isn’t one of those days. Good morning!”
“The only thing preventing me from smashing my alarm clock this morning is the fact that it’s my cellphone. Good morning!”
“Good morning! If you want to make your dreams come true, first thing you have to do is wake up.”
“Some mornings I lie in bed and think about all the people I could impress by getting up. Then I sleep in.”
“Morning! I’m going to try being positive today. I’m positive I won’t like it.”
“The best part about this morning is that I get to share it with you. Well, in spirit, at least.”
“Good morning! Did someone order a bright and sunny day? Because I think it got delivered to the wrong address.”
“Be a rebel: wake up and smile! Good morning!”
“Good morning! Spoiler alert: your coffee is not a morning person either.”
“May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short. Good morning!”
“Good morning! Let’s start the day with a smile. Or let’s settle for a grimace. Baby steps.”
“They say ‘Good morning,’ but I say ‘Why morning? Why not afternoon or evening?'”
“Wake up! A sweet morning is waiting for you.”
“Good morning! I hope your day is as amazing as the first sip of your coffee.”
“Today’s forecast: 100% chance of winning. But first, coffee. Good morning!”
“Good morning! Smile today – it irritates those who have none.”
“Alert! The hottest person in the world has just woken up! Good morning!”
“Good morning! Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.”
“Good morning to everyone except people who take good mornings literally.”
“Did you know that the brain is a wonderful organ? It starts working the moment you get up and does not stop until you get into the office. Good morning!”
“Rise and shine! It’s time to get caffeineated.”
“Every morning is a battle between the superego and the id, and I am a mere foot soldier with mud and a snooze button on her shield. Good morning!”
“Good morning! Let’s start the day with a clean slate… and a messy kitchen.”
“There should be a rule against people trying to be funny before the sun comes up. Good morning!”
“Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking like a troll? Good morning!”
“Good morning! My plan for today? Same as always: Drink coffee and be sexy.”
“Mornings are for coffee and contemplation. But mostly coffee. Good morning!”
“Good morning! It’s a great day to excel (or at least pretend to).”
“I was going to conquer the world this morning but I overslept. Postponed. Again. Good morning!”
“Good morning! Here’s to starting your day with a smile and ending it without wine stains.”
“Welcome to the fresh morning: With a smile on your face; Love in your heart; Good thoughts in your mind; And you will have a wonderful day!”
“Mornings are the perfect time for an eye-rolling contest with your alarm clock. Good morning!”
“Good morning! May your day be filled with random outbursts of infectious giggles!”
“Warning: Going to sleep on Sunday will cause Monday. Good morning!”
“Good morning! Let’s see, what can I avoid today?”
“Every morning I wake up saying, I’m still alive; a miracle. And so I keep on pushing. Good luck with your pushing today!”
“Good morning! Life is like a mirror: It’ll smile at you if you smile at it.”

Funny good morning quotes

Here’s a list of funny good morning quotes to start the day with a laugh:

“The only thing preventing me from smashing my alarm clock this morning is the fact that it’s my cellphone.”
“Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day.”
“I could be a morning person. If morning happened around noon.”
“Good morning! If you think you’re having a bad morning, remember somewhere in the world a kid dropped his scoop of ice cream.”
“Good morning! Let’s all take a moment to be thankful we aren’t the ones who discovered work.”
“I was going to conquer the world this morning, but I overslept. Postponed. Again.”
“Mornings are for coffee and contemplation. But mostly coffee.”
“Good morning! Keep the dream alive: hit the snooze button.”
“Some mornings I just feel like breaking the damn alarm, but then one thing always stops me. I paid hundreds of dollars to buy my phone.”
“Good morning! My plan for today? Same as always: drink coffee and be sexy.”
“I need morning coffee to change me from ‘no talkie’ to ‘no talkie without coffee’.”
“Good morning! Remember, the early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.”
“Every morning is a battle between the superego and the id, and I am a mere foot soldier with mud and a snooze button on her shield.”
“Rise and shine! And if that doesn’t work, coffee and shine.”
“Good morning! Let’s start the day with a smile. Or let’s settle for a grimace. Baby steps.”
“Morning paradox: it takes forever to fall asleep and only a second to fall asleep in the morning.”
“Good morning! Spoiler alert: your coffee is not a morning person either.”
“Alert! The hottest person in the world has just woken up!”
“Good morning! I’m not a morning person or a night person. I’m more of a middle-of-the-day person.”
“Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking like a troll?”
“Mornings are like almost clean slates. I say ‘almost’ because the residue of yesterdays is sometimes stuck to them.”
“Good morning! Let’s start the day with a clean slate… and a messy kitchen.”
“I think I’m allergic to morning.”
“Good morning! Time to rise and shine. Don’t worry, you can still go back to bed tomorrow.”
“If you ever see me jogging in the morning, please kill whatever is chasing me.”
“Today’s goals: Coffee and kindness. Maybe two coffees, and then kindness.”
“Good morning! If you want to make your dreams come true, the first thing you have to do is wake up.”
“Morning is the time when you wake up and say ‘Not again!'”
“Good morning! Remember, your bed is always comfortable when you need to get out of it.”
“There should be a rule against people trying to be funny before the sun comes up.”
“Did you know that the brain is a wonderful organ? It starts working the moment you get up and does not stop until you get into the office.”
“Good morning! Life is like a mirror: It’ll smile at you if you smile at it.”
“Every morning I wake up saying, I’m still alive; a miracle. And so I keep on pushing.”
“Good morning! Here’s to starting your day with a smile and ending it without wine stains.”
“Be a rebel: wake up and smile!”
“Wake up! A sweet morning is waiting for you.”
“Good morning! Did someone order a bright and sunny day? Because I think it got delivered to the wrong address.”
“May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short.”
“Good morning! I hope your day is as amazing as the first sip of your coffee.”
“Good morning to everyone except people who take good mornings literally.”
“Today’s forecast: 100% chance of winning. But first, coffee.”
“Good morning! Smile today – it irritates those who have none.”
“I love the morning without an alarm. Unfortunately, today isn’t one of those days.”
“Good morning! Let’s start the day with a smile. Or two cups of coffee. Same thing.”
“Mornings are the perfect time for an eye-rolling contest with your alarm clock.”
“Warning: Going to sleep on Sunday will cause Monday.”
“Good morning! Let’s see, what can I avoid today?”
“My bed and I had a breakup this morning. I think it’s serious this time.”
“Morning! I’m going to try being positive today. I’m positive I won’t like it.”
“Rise and shine! It’s time to get caffeinated.”

Good morning funnies sayings

Here are 50 funny good morning sayings to add a touch of humor to the start of your day:

“Good morning! Let’s start the day with a smile. Or two cups of coffee. Same thing.”
“Mornings are the universe’s way of saying: ‘One more time, live life, make a difference.'”
“Morning has broken, and so has my enthusiasm for today.”
“Rise and shine is a lie. More like rise and whine.”
“Good morning! Remember, even coffee needed a wake-up call to be itself.”
“Every morning is a reminder that your phone charger works.”
“Good morning! The sun is up, the sky is blue, it’s beautiful, and so are you. And the ‘so are you’ part is a lie.”
“My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed.”
“Some mornings I lie in bed and think about all the people I could impress by getting up. Then I sleep in.”
“Wake up and be awesome. Or at least sarcastic. That’s the same thing.”
“Good morning! Start your day with a smile – it scares people.”
“I could be a morning person. Only if morning started at noon.”
“Good morning! Remember: A yawn is a silent scream for coffee.”
“Every morning I wake up saying, ‘I’m still alive, a miracle.’ And so I keep on pushing.”
“Rise and shine! Or rise and whine. The choice is yours.”
“Morning comes whether you set the alarm or not.”
“Good morning! May your cup overflow with peace, love, and pure awesomeness.”
“You know you’re an adult when morning is no longer exciting.”
“Good morning! If you stumble, make it part of the dance.”
“Mornings are like Government work – nobody really likes it.”
“The early bird can have the worm because worms are gross and mornings are stupid.”
“Good morning! Welcome to today’s episode of ‘Why Is This Happening to Me?'”
“Wake up with determination. Go to bed with satisfaction. And a lot of caffeine in between.”
“Good morning! If today were a fish, I’d throw it back in.”
“Every morning is a chance to start life anew; unfortunately, life is an old dog with bad habits.”
“Good morning! I hope your day is as good as your coffee.”
“Mornings are for coffee and contemplation. Mostly coffee.”
“Good morning! Today’s to-do list: Get up, survive, go back to bed.”
“Whoever invented morning did not sleep enough.”
“Good morning! Be careful, the coffee’s hot, but not as hot as me.”
“Rise and shine, it’s time for wine. Wait, what time is it?”
“Good morning! Brush your teeth. You can’t conquer the world with dragon breath.”
“Today’s goal: Be a pineapple. Stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.”
“Good morning! Act like a lady, think like a boss, and be willing to throw punches like a heavyweight champ.”
“Mornings are a gift – that’s why they’re called the present.”
“Good morning! Life isn’t perfect, but your outfit can be.”
“Wake up, be awesome, repeat.”
“Good morning! Another day, another part of your life journey.”
“Whoever says ‘Good Morning’ on Monday’s deserves to get slapped.”
“Good morning! Today is a great day to make some more bad decisions.”
“Morning is a wonderful blessing, either sunny or stormy. It stands for hope.”
“Good morning! Remember: Decaf coffee is just brown water.”
“Every morning I wake up and think: ‘To nap or not to nap, that is the question.'”
“Good morning! Let’s check the to-do list: Breathing? Check. Moving? Check. Coffee? Soon.”
“Wake up and face life’s challenges head-on. Alternatively, stay in bed and let them find someone else.”
“Good morning! My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them.”
“The hardest thing of my morning is figuring out what to wear.”
“Good morning! Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.”
“Another sunrise, another new beginning. Another breakfast, another… nap?”
“Good morning! Today, let’s be optimistic. Let’s believe people will actually return our pens.”

Funny quotes about good morning

Here are 50 funny quotes about good mornings that might just make your day a bit brighter:

“Good morning! Time to wake up and give the bed bugs a break.”
“Every morning I wake up and think to myself, ‘Convincing myself to leave this bed will be my greatest achievement today.'”
“Mornings are the universe’s way of saying, ‘Let’s see how many times you can hit snooze.'”
“The only thing worse than waking up is not having coffee immediately afterward.”
“Good morning! Let’s start the day with a positive attitude and a terrible memory about yesterday.”
“Mornings are like government work – nobody really wants to do it.”
“Wake up! It’s time to be grateful for the things you don’t have to do today, like climb Everest.”
“Good morning to everyone except people who can leap out of bed and be cheerful immediately.”
“Coffee is the silent victim in my morning routine.”
“Waking up early is the first step in the wrong direction for the day.”
“Good morning! Remember: every morning is a chance to start living life in your pajamas.”
“The only thing keeping me going this morning is the hope that tonight I’ll be in bed again.”
“Good morning! May your coffee kick in before reality does.”
“I like my bed more than most people. That’s why mornings are so hard.”
“Morning has broken, and I have cracked. Send coffee.”
“Good morning! Welcome to adulthood, where every morning feels like a bad hangover.”
“Every morning is a battle between my love for sleep and my need to pee.”
“The best part of waking up is going back to bed.”
“Good morning! I’m not a pessimist. I’m an optometrist. I see the day optimistically through my glasses.”
“Rise and shine! Or rise and whine. The choice is yours.”
“Good morning! I’ve learned to use meditation and relaxation to handle stress. Just kidding, I wake up panicked and exhausted every morning.”
“I always say ‘morning’ instead of ‘good morning.’ If it was a good morning, I’d still be in bed instead of talking to people.”
“Waking up: the first of many disappointments of the day.”
“Good morning! Today’s to-do list: Count the number of times I consider quitting adulting.”
“Every morning I wake up and think, ‘How on Earth did I wake up before noon as a kid?'”
“Good morning! It’s a great day to stay inside and ignore the world.”
“Mornings: The time when your brain says ‘no’ but your responsibilities say ‘lol, yes’.”
“The early bird can have the worm because worms are gross, and mornings are stupid.”
“Good morning! If you see me talking to myself this morning, mind your own business. I’m having a staff meeting.”
“Rise and shine! Just kidding. Rise and complain.”
“Good morning! If you’re feeling down, remember that it’s better than feeling up at 3 AM.”
“If anyone hears me singing in the shower, remember, it’s a concert, and you need a ticket.”
“Good morning! Embrace the day with a coffee in one hand and optimism in the other (preferably the hand that’s not holding the coffee).”
“Waking up this morning was an eye-opening experience.”
“Good morning! I’m awake. Thank you, coffee, for your service.”
“Every morning is a chance to change your life and go back to bed.”
“Good morning! Today is a perfect day for a perfect day.”
“Waking up early is a myth, a legend, and a lie all wrapped in sunlight.”
“Good morning! Another day, another 24 hours to wear pajamas.”
“Remember: The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.”
“Good morning! They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day. I say coffee is.”
“Mornings are like taxes – inevitable and unpleasant.”
“Good morning! Rise and shine! Or rise and whine. Depends on how much wine you had last night.”
“I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.”
“Good morning! My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.”
“Mornings: Proof that sleep is a scam created by the bed industry.”
“Good morning! If you can survive the zombie apocalypse of tiredness, you can survive anything.”
“Why is it called ‘beauty sleep’ when you wake up looking like a troll?”
“Good morning! Start your day with a smile – it irritates those who wish to destroy you.”
“I like my coffee like I like my mornings: dark, bitter, and too hot for most people.”

Funniest good morning

Here are the funniest and most light-hearted good morning messages that are sure to bring a smile:

“Good morning! Let’s start the day with a round of applause… for me, because I got out of bed.”
“Rise and shine! Or rise and whine. The choice is yours.”
“Good morning! I don’t need an inspirational quote, I need coffee.”
“Why do mornings exist? Oh right, for coffee. Good morning!”
“Good morning! If anyone asks, I did not choose the snooze life, the snooze life chose me.”
“If you can conquer the snooze button, you can conquer anything. Good luck!”
“Rise and shine, it’s time for wine. Oops, I mean coffee. Definitely coffee.”
“Good morning! I’ve officially reached the ‘running on coffee and sarcasm’ part of the day.”
“Morning is the time when I lie in bed thinking about what I don’t want to do today.”
“Good morning! I’m all about that coffee, bout that coffee, no treble.”
“Good morning! Just remember, if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.”
“Waking up this morning was an eye-opening experience.”
“Good morning! Remember, your bed is always comfortable when you need to get out of it.”
“They say ‘Good Morning’ but I say ‘Why morning? Why not afternoon or evening?'”
“Good morning! If today was a fish, I’d throw it back.”
“Every morning is a battle between the superego and the id, and I’m just a foot soldier with coffee.”
“Rise and shine! And if that doesn’t work, coffee and whine.”
“Good morning! Spoiler alert: the coffee’s not a morning person either.”
“Some mornings I wake up grumpy; other mornings I let him sleep.”
“Good morning! Let’s start the day with a smile. Or let’s settle for a grimace. Baby steps.”
“I think I’m allergic to morning.”
“Good morning! My bed and I, we’re perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.”
“May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short.”
“Good morning! Today’s goals: Coffee and kindness. Maybe two coffees, and then kindness.”
“Morning has broken, and I have cracked. Send coffee.”
“Good morning! Let’s start the day with a clean slate… and a messy kitchen.”
“Whoever says ‘Good Morning’ on a Monday deserves to be slapped.”
“Good morning! Brush your teeth. You can’t conquer the world with dragon breath.”
“If anyone hears me singing in the shower, remember, it’s a concert and you need a ticket.”
“Good morning! If you see me talking to myself this morning, mind your own business. I’m having a staff meeting.”
“Rise and shine! Just kidding. Rise and complain.”
“Good morning! I hope your day is as good as your coffee.”
“Good morning! If you stumble, make it part of the dance.”
“Mornings are like almost clean slates. I say ‘almost’ because the residue of yesterdays is sometimes stuck to them.”
“Good morning! Embrace the day with a coffee in one hand and optimism in the other (preferably the hand that’s not holding the coffee).”
“Wake up and be awesome. Or at least sarcastic. That’s the same thing.”
“Good morning! Let’s all take a moment to be thankful we aren’t the ones who discovered work.”
“Today’s forecast: 100% chance of winning. But first, coffee.”
“Good morning! My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them.”
“Why is it called ‘beauty sleep’ when you wake up looking like a troll?”
“Good morning! Life is like a mirror: It’ll smile at you if you smile at it.”
“Alert! The hottest person in the world has just woken up!”
“Good morning! Let’s see, what can I avoid today?”
“Morning is a wonderful blessing, either sunny or stormy. It stands for hope.”
“Good morning! Be careful, the coffee’s hot, but not as hot as me.”
“Every morning I wake up and think: ‘To nap or not to nap, that is the question.'”
“Good morning! Act like a lady, think like a boss, and be willing to throw punches like a heavyweight champ.”
“Wake up, be awesome, repeat.”
“Good morning! Another day, another part of your life journey.”
“Good morning! Remember, even coffee needed a wake-up call to be itself.”

Witty good morning

Here are witty good morning messages to start the day with a chuckle:

“Good morning! Let’s start the day with a positive attitude and a great cup of denial.”
“The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. Choose wisely.”
“Rise and shine! And if that doesn’t work, coffee and whine.”
“Good morning! Remember, your phone’s alarm is just a public service announcement that it’s time to stop sleeping.”
“I always say ‘morning’ instead of ‘good morning’ because if it were a good morning, I’d still be in bed asleep.”
“Waking up is the second hardest thing in the morning.”
“Good morning! Today is a great day to go back to bed.”
“Morning is God’s way of saying one more time, ‘Go make a difference, touch a heart, encourage a mind, inspire a soul and enjoy the day.’ Or go back to sleep. Your choice.”
“Good morning! If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.”
“Every morning I wake up and experience an exquisite joy — the joy of being Salvador Dali. And you are not.”
“Good morning! Today will be fabulous. Once I figure out how to get out of bed.”
“Coffee: because morning people are annoying.”
“Good morning! Let’s start the day with a smile. Or let’s settle for a grimace. Baby steps.”
“I like my bed more than most people. That’s why mornings are tough.”
“Good morning! If today were a fish, I’d throw it back.”
“Morning paradox: the time when your brain says ‘no’ but your responsibilities say ‘yes.'”
“Good morning! The best part of waking up is… going back to bed.”
“Every morning I get up and look through the list of the richest people in the world. If I’m not there, I go to work.”
“Rise and shine! And if that doesn’t work, bribery and caffeine.”
“Good morning! Let’s start the day by taking a deep breath and pretending we know what we’re doing.”
“Morning is the time when I wake up and thank God I don’t have feathers and a beak.”
“Good morning! Let’s be positive today; I’m positive we’re all tired.”
“Every morning brings new potential, but if you dwell on the misfortunes of the day before, you tend to overlook tremendous opportunities.”
“Good morning! Remember, the early worm gets eaten.”
“Rise and shine! Or rise and complain. Depends on the day.”
“Good morning! Embrace the day with a coffee in one hand and realism in the other.”
“If you can survive the zombie apocalypse of tiredness, you can survive anything. Good morning!”
“Mornings are for coffee and contemplation. Heavily leaning towards coffee.”
“Good morning! If you want to make your dreams come true, the first thing you have to do is wake up. Or go back to sleep and try again.”
“Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking like a troll?”
“Good morning! I’m not a morning person or a night person. I’m more of a middle-of-the-day person.”
“Rise and shine! And if that doesn’t work, there’s always bribery.”
“Good morning! Today’s to-do list: Get up, survive, go back to bed.”
“Mornings are like almost clean slates. I say ‘almost’ because the residue of yesterdays is sometimes stuck to them.”
“Good morning! Spoiler alert: your coffee is not a morning person either.”
“Wake up and be awesome. Or at least sarcastic. That’s the same thing.”
“Good morning! If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple. If you were a vegetable, I’d visit you in the hospital.”
“Morning is the time when you wake up and say ‘Not again!'”
“Good morning! Remember, your bed is always comfortable when you need to get out of it.”
“They say ‘Good Morning,’ but I say ‘Why morning? Why not afternoon or evening?'”
“Good morning! Just remember, if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.”
“Waking up this morning was an eye-opening experience.”
“Good morning! Another day, another 24 hours to wear pajamas.”
“Rise and shine! It’s time for wine. Wait, what time is it?”
“Good morning! Brush your teeth. You can’t conquer the world with dragon breath.”
“If anyone hears me singing in the shower, remember, it’s a concert, and you need a ticket.”
“Good morning! Let’s start the day with a smile. Or two cups of coffee. Same thing.”
“Mornings are for coffee and contemplation. Mostly coffee.”
“Good morning! Another day, another part of your life journey.”
“Good morning! Let’s all take a moment to be thankful we aren’t the ones who discovered work.”

Funny morning quotes

Here are funny morning quotes to kickstart your day with humor:

“Morning: the time of day when you’re too asleep to remember why you set so many alarms.”
“Good morning! If you think you’re not a morning person, try being a Monday person.”
“The best part of waking up is… going back to sleep after hitting snooze.”
“I’m not a morning person. I’m a coffee person.”
“Good morning! My bed is my happy place – until the alarm rings.”
“Mornings are for coffee and contemplation. Mostly coffee.”
“Waking up this morning was an eye-opening experience.”
“Good morning! I woke up like this. Disappointed but not surprised.”
“Every morning I wake up and think: ‘To nap or not to nap, that is the question.'”
“Good morning! May your coffee be strong and your workday be short.”
“Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking like a troll?”
“Rise and shine! And if that doesn’t work, coffee and whine.”
“Good morning! Remember, your phone’s alarm is just a public service announcement that it’s time to stop sleeping.”
“The early bird can have the worm because worms are gross, and mornings are stupid.”
“Morning comes whether you set the alarm or not.”
“Good morning! If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple. If you were a vegetable, I’d visit you in the hospital.”
“I think I’m allergic to morning.”
“Good morning! I’m not a pessimist. I’m an optometrist. I see the day optimistically through my glasses.”
“Morning is the time when I wake up and thank God I don’t have feathers and a beak.”
“Good morning! The best part of waking up is… going back to bed.”
“If you can survive the zombie apocalypse of tiredness, you can survive anything. Good morning!”
“Every morning I get up and look through the list of the richest people in the world. If I’m not there, I go to work.”
“Rise and shine! Or rise and complain. Depends on the day.”
“Good morning! Embrace the day with a coffee in one hand and realism in the other.”
“Mornings are like Government work – nobody really likes it.”
“Good morning! If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.”
“Morning is the time when your brain says ‘no’ but your responsibilities say ‘lol, yes’.”
“Good morning! Today is a perfect day for a perfect day.”
“Every morning brings new potential, but if you dwell on the misfortunes of the day before, you tend to overlook tremendous opportunities.”
“Good morning! If today was a fish, I’d throw it back.”
“Rise and shine! And if that doesn’t work, bribery and caffeine.”
“Good morning! Let’s start the day by taking a deep breath and pretending we know what we’re doing.”
“Mornings are like almost clean slates. I say ‘almost’ because the residue of yesterdays is sometimes stuck to them.”
“Good morning! Spoiler alert: your coffee is not a morning person either.”
“Wake up and be awesome. Or at least sarcastic. That’s the same thing.”
“Good morning! If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple. If you were a vegetable, I’d visit you in the hospital.”
“Morning is the time when you wake up and say ‘Not again!'”
“Good morning! Remember, your bed is always comfortable when you need to get out of it.”
“They say ‘Good Morning,’ but I say ‘Why morning? Why not afternoon or evening?'”
“Good morning! Just remember, if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.”
“Waking up this morning was an eye-opening experience.”
“Good morning! Another day, another 24 hours to wear pajamas.”
“Rise and shine! It’s time for wine. Wait, what time is it?”
“Good morning! Brush your teeth. You can’t conquer the world with dragon breath.”
“If anyone hears me singing in the shower, remember, it’s a concert, and you need a ticket.”
“Good morning! Let’s start the day with a smile. Or two cups of coffee. Same thing.”
“Mornings are for coffee and contemplation. Mostly coffee.”
“Good morning! Another day, another part of your life journey.”
“Good morning! Let’s all take a moment to be thankful we aren’t the ones who discovered work.”
“Good morning! Remember, even coffee needed a wake-up call to be itself.”

Good morning funny quotes

Here are funny good morning quotes to add a bit of humor to the start of your day:

“Good morning! Let’s all be thankful we’re not zombies. Yet.”
“I wake up every morning and think to myself, ‘Do I really need this job?’ Then I remember the bills and get up.”
“Good morning! Remember, the early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.”
“Morning is God’s way of saying, ‘One more time! Live life, make a difference.'”
“Good morning! My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.”
“Rise and shine! And if that doesn’t work, coffee and shine.”
“The only thing preventing me from smashing my alarm clock this morning is the fact that it’s my cellphone.”
“Good morning! If you want to make your dreams come true, first thing you have to do is wake up.”
“Every morning I wake up and think to myself, ‘Convincing myself to leave this bed will be my greatest achievement today.'”
“Mornings are like almost clean slates. I say ‘almost’ because the residue of yesterdays is sometimes stuck to them.”
“Good morning! Let’s start the day with a smile. Or let’s settle for a grimace. Baby steps.”
“If you ever see me jogging, please kill whatever is chasing me.”
“Good morning! I need coffee to help me change from ‘no talkie’ to ‘no talkie without coffee.'”
“Rise and shine! It’s time to get caffeineated.”
“My bed and I had a breakup this morning. I think it’s serious this time.”
“Good morning! I think I’m allergic to morning.”
“If you think mornings are hard, try never sleeping. #VampireLife”
“Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day.”
“Good morning! Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.”
“Good morning to everyone except people who take good mornings literally.”
“Be a rebel: wake up and smile! Good morning!”
“Good morning! Spoiler alert: your coffee is not a morning person either.”
“May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short. Good morning!”
“Good morning! Let’s start the day with a clean slate… and a messy kitchen.”
“Good morning! Let’s all take a moment to be thankful we aren’t the ones who discovered work.”
“Wake up! A sweet morning is waiting for you.”
“Good morning! I hope your day is as amazing as the first sip of your coffee.”
“Today’s forecast: 100% chance of winning. But first, coffee. Good morning!”
“Good morning! Smile today – it irritates those who have none.”
“Alert! The hottest person in the world has just woken up! Good morning!”
“Good morning! Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.”
“Did you know that the brain is a wonderful organ? It starts working the moment you get up and does not stop until you get into the office.”
“Rise and shine! It’s time to get caffeineated.”
“Every morning is a battle between the superego and the id, and I am a mere foot soldier with mud and a snooze button on her shield.”
“Good morning! Let’s start the day with a clean slate… and a messy kitchen.”
“There should be a rule against people trying to be funny before the sun comes up.”
“Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking like a troll? Good morning!”
“Good morning! My plan for today? Same as always: Drink coffee and be sexy.”
“Mornings are for coffee and contemplation. But mostly coffee. Good morning!”
“Good morning! It’s a great day to excel (or at least pretend to).”
“I was going to conquer the world this morning but I overslept. Postponed. Again.”
“Good morning! Here’s to starting your day with a smile and ending it without wine stains.”
“Welcome to the fresh morning: With a smile on your face; Love in your heart; Good thoughts in your mind; And you will have a wonderful day!”
“Mornings are the perfect time for an eye-rolling contest with your alarm clock.”
“Warning: Going to sleep on Sunday will cause Monday.”
“Good morning! Let’s see, what can I avoid today?”
“Every morning I wake up saying, I’m still alive; a miracle. And so I keep on pushing.”
“Good morning! Life is like a mirror: It’ll smile at you if you smile at it.”
“Rise and shine! Or rise and whine. The choice is yours.”
“Good morning! I love the morning without an alarm. Unfortunately, today isn’t one of those days.”

Good morning humor quotes

Here are humorous good morning messages to start the day with a smile:

“Good morning! Let’s start the day with a smile, or at least a less grumpy face.”
“Rise and shine! Or rise and whine – your choice.”
“Every morning I wake up and think, ‘Is this really necessary?'”
“Good morning! My bed is my happy place, but apparently, my job is my ‘have to’ place.”
“I was going to conquer the world this morning, but I overslept. Postponed. Again.”
“Morning has broken, and I feel like I might too. Send coffee.”
“Good morning! If anyone asks, I’ve been up since dawn, being super productive.”
“I need morning coffee to change me from ‘no talkie’ to ‘no talkie without coffee.'”
“Good morning! Remember, the early worm gets eaten.”
“Rise and shine! And if that doesn’t work, coffee and shine.”
“My bed and I had a breakup this morning. It was tough.”
“Good morning! Spoiler alert: your coffee is not a morning person either.”
“The best part of waking up is… going back to bed after the first alarm.”
“Good morning! I hope your day is as good as that first sip of coffee.”
“They say ‘Good Morning,’ but I say ‘Why morning? Why not afternoon or evening?'”
“Good morning! Let’s start the day with a clean slate… and a messy kitchen.”
“Waking up this morning was an eye-opening experience.”
“Good morning! Let’s all be thankful we’re not zombies. Yet.”
“If you can survive the zombie apocalypse of tiredness, you can survive anything. Good morning!”
“Mornings are like Government work – nobody really likes it.”
“Good morning! If today were a fish, I’d throw it back.”
“Rise and shine! Just kidding. Rise and complain.”
“Good morning! Today’s to-do list: Get up, survive, go back to bed.”
“Alert! The hottest person in the world has just woken up!”
“Good morning! Let’s see, what can I avoid today?”
“Whoever says ‘Good Morning’ on a Monday deserves to be slapped.”
“Morning is a wonderful blessing, either sunny or stormy. It stands for hope.”
“Good morning! Be careful, the coffee’s hot, but not as hot as me.”
“Every morning I wake up and think: ‘To nap or not to nap, that is the question.'”
“Good morning! Act like a lady, think like a boss, and be willing to throw punches like a heavyweight champ.”
“Wake up, be awesome, repeat.”
“Good morning! Another day, another part of your life journey.”
“Good morning! Remember, even coffee needed a wake-up call to be itself.”
“If anyone hears me singing in the shower, remember, it’s a concert, and you need a ticket.”
“Good morning! Let’s start the day with a smile. Or two cups of coffee. Same thing.”
“Mornings are for coffee and contemplation. Mostly coffee.”
“Good morning! Another day, another 24 hours to wear pajamas.”
“Rise and shine! It’s time for wine. Wait, what time is it?”
“Good morning! Brush your teeth. You can’t conquer the world with dragon breath.”
“Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking like a troll?”
“Good morning! Life is like a mirror: It’ll smile at you if you smile at it.”
“I think I’m allergic to morning.”
“Good morning! My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them.”
“The hardest thing of my morning is figuring out what to wear.”
“Good morning! Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.”
“Another sunrise, another new beginning. Another breakfast, another… nap?”
“Good morning! Today, let’s be optimistic. Let’s believe people will actually return our pens.”
“Good morning! Let’s start the day with a positive attitude and a great cup of denial.”
“The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. Choose wisely.”
“Rise and shine! Or rise and whine – your choice.”

Have a good day funny quotes

Here are funny quotes to wish someone a good day with a touch of humor:

“Have a good day! Remember, it’s better to arrive late than to arrive ugly.”
“Start your day with coffee and end it with wine. That’s my idea of a good day!”
“Have a good day! And if you can’t, just blame it on the moon or something.”
“A day without laughter is a day wasted. So, let’s hope today isn’t a total waste!”
“If you fall, I’ll be there – Floor. Have a good day!”
“Today will be a good day. So wake up and smile like you mean it!”
“Have a good day! And remember, if the day doesn’t go well, we can always try again tomorrow.”
“Sending you good vibes to crush your day like a grape. Squeeze all the good out of it!”
“Good day to you! May your coffee be strong and your patience stronger.”
“Make today so awesome that yesterday gets jealous. Have a good one!”
“Today is a good day to have a good day!”
“Have a day as fabulous as you are. Or at least half as fabulous to keep it realistic.”
“May your clothes be comfy, your coffee be strong, and your Monday be short.”
“On the bright side, if today is as bad as it gets, you’re in for a really easy life.”
“Remember, even the worst day only lasts 24 hours. Hang in there!”
“Have a good day, and if you can’t, just eat your favorite dessert. It’s practically the same thing.”
“You attract what you fear. So, today, I fear money and success. Fingers crossed!”
“Smile – it increases your face value. Have a fantastic day!”
“May your day be more beautiful than a unicorn farting rainbows.”
“Don’t worry about the people who talk behind your back, they’re behind you for a reason. Have a great day!”
“Having a bad day? Remember it’s all in your head… where your brain tricks you. Good luck with that.”
“Today is a good day for cake. That’s my philosophy.”
“If today was a fish, I’d throw it back in. Have a better one!”
“Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. Enjoy your day!”
“If you see me talking to myself today, mind your own business. I’m having a staff meeting.”
“Let your smile change the world but don’t let the world change your smile. Shine on!”
“Remember, the only thing standing between you and a good day is your attitude… and possibly traffic.”
“Don’t count the days. Make the days count. And maybe throw in a nap.”
“Be like a postage stamp – stick to one thing until you get there. Have a great day!”
“Every day is a good day. There is something to learn, care and celebrate.”
“Be strong, because things will get better. It may be stormy now, but it never rains forever.”
“Today, be the badass you were too lazy to be yesterday. Go get ’em!”
“Seize the day! Or at least poke it with a stick.”
“You’re off to great places! Today is your day! So, get on your way, and maybe avoid the freeway.”
“Life is short. Don’t be lazy and waste it. Be lazy and enjoy it!”
“Do something today that your future self will thank you for. Like, taking a nap.”
“Some days you’re the dog; some days you’re the hydrant. Here’s to being the dog!”
“Just remember: Any bad day can be overcome with a nap. So, dream big!”
“Have a good day! Remember, it’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit.”
“Don’t give up on your dreams so soon, sleep longer. Enjoy your day!”
“Life’s short, forget your problems, be happy, and live your life because you never know if there will be another tomorrow.”
“If you can’t do anything about it, then let it go. Don’t be a prisoner to things you can’t change. Enjoy your day!”
“Remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day. But then again, I wasn’t in charge of that project.”
“Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine they see all day.”
“Good day! If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.”
“Dance like nobody’s watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones.”
“Opportunity knocks only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell. Have a great day!”
“Throw kindness around like confetti. Just avoid getting it in people’s eyes.”
“Remember, stress is caused by giving a f**k. So, have a good day and don’t give one.”
“Today’s goals: Coffee and kindness. Maybe two coffees, and then kindness.”

Good morning with funny quotes

Here’s a list of good morning messages paired with funny quotes to start the day with a smile:

“Good morning! ‘I always give 100% at work: 12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday.'”
“Rise and shine! ‘Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day.'”
“Good morning! Remember, ‘The early bird catches the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.'”
“Wake up! ‘Today is a good day to have a good day.'”
“Good morning! ‘I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.'”
“Rise and shine! ‘I was going to take over the world this morning, but I overslept. Postponed. Again.'”
“Good morning! ‘My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I was supposed to do.'”
“Morning has broken, and so has my will to get out of bed.”
“Good morning! ‘I think I’m allergic to morning.'”
“Wake up and smell the coffee! ‘The only thing preventing me from smashing my alarm clock this morning is the fact that it’s my cellphone.'”
“Good morning! ‘If you’re going to do something today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year-old in a Batman t-shirt.'”
“Rise and shine! ‘I like my coffee black and my mornings bright.'”
“Good morning! ‘Some days, I amaze myself. Other days, I put my keys in the fridge.'”
“Hello, sunshine! ‘I need morning coffee to change me from ‘no talkie’ to ‘no talkie without coffee.'”
“Good morning! ‘My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.'”
“Wakey wakey! ‘Morning is the time when you wake up and say ‘Not again!'”
“Good morning! ‘There should be a rule against people trying to be funny before the sun comes up.'”
“Rise and shine! ‘I’m not a morning person. I’m a coffee person.'”
“Good morning! ‘Every morning I long to hold you…I need you, I want you, I have to have you…your warmth, your smell, your taste…ohhh coffee, I love you.'”
“Wake up! ‘The only thing worse than waking up is not having coffee immediately afterward.'”
“Good morning! ‘Today will be a good day. So wake up and smile.'”
“Rise and shine! ‘My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed.'”
“Good morning! ‘Keep the dream alive: hit the snooze button.'”
“Wake up and be awesome! ‘Today’s forecast: 100% chance of winning. But first, coffee.'”
“Good morning! ‘The best part of waking up is…going back to bed after the first alarm.'”
“Rise and shine! ‘Smile – it increases your face value.'”
“Good morning! ‘Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.'”
“Wake up! ‘Be like a postage stamp – stick to one thing until you get there.'”
“Good morning! ‘Be strong, I whispered to my coffee.'”
“Rise and shine! ‘The trouble with waking up early is that it’s in the morning.'”
“Good morning! ‘May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short.'”
“Wake up and seize the day! ‘I like my bed more than most people.'”
“Good morning! ‘Having a weird mom builds character.'”
“Rise and shine! ‘My morning workout: running late.'”
“Good morning! ‘Every day is a good day. There is something to learn, care, and celebrate.'”
“Wake up! ‘Today is a good day for a good day.'”
“Good morning! ‘If you can’t do anything about it, then let it go. Don’t be a prisoner to things you can’t change.'”
“Rise and shine! ‘Seize the day! Or at least poke it with a stick.'”
“Good morning! ‘I wake up for coffee.'”
“Wake up! ‘Today’s goals: Coffee and kindness. Maybe two coffees, and then kindness.'”
“Good morning! ‘I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.'”
“Rise and shine! ‘Be like coffee: strong enough to leave a lasting impression.'”
“Good morning! ‘If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.'”
“Wake up and make it happen! ‘Today’s good mood is sponsored by coffee.'”
“Good morning! ‘The best way to start the day is with a cup of positivity and a good breakfast.'”
“Rise and shine! ‘Today is a multiple cups of coffee kind of day.'”
“Good morning! ‘Some mornings are like a scene from a horror movie: The alarm rings, and reality dawns… it’s Monday!'”
“Wake up! ‘If today was a fish, I’d throw it back.'”
“Good morning! ‘Be the person your dog thinks you are.'”
“Rise and shine! ‘Why can’t the morning news ever say, ‘Today has been canceled, go back to sleep?'”

Funny good morning greetings

Here’s a list of funny good morning greetings to kickstart the day with humor:

“Good morning! Let’s be positive today – I’m positive I need more sleep.”
“Rise and shine! Or rise and whine, depends on how the morning coffee tastes.”
“Good morning! If you can’t think of anything to be grateful for, remember your breath.”
“Wake up and be awesome – but first, coffee. Lots of coffee.”
“Good morning! Another day, another 24 hours to complain about.”
“Rise and shine! Just kidding, rise and panic. It’s morning already!”
“Good morning! They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day. I say coffee is.”
“Hello, sunshine! Now where’s my coffee?”
“Good morning! Let’s have a moment of silence for all those who are stuck in traffic.”
“Wake up! It’s time to seize the day. Or go back to bed. Your choice.”
“Good morning! May your worries be light and your coffee strong.”
“Rise and shine! Or moan and whine. Your choice.”
“Good morning! Today is a great day to adult. But let’s try it tomorrow.”
“Mornings are for coffee and contemplation. And more coffee.”
“Good morning! Spoiler alert: I’m going to need more than one cup of coffee today.”
“Rise and shine! Remember, your phone’s snooze button is there for a reason.”
“Good morning! Let’s make today so awesome that yesterday gets jealous.”
“Wake up! Today’s to-do list: Get up, survive, go back to bed.”
“Good morning! Welcome to the daily grind. It’s like a regular grind, but with coffee.”
“Rise and shine! And if that doesn’t work, just keep lying there and shine.”
“Good morning! Don’t forget to be awesome. But first, be awake.”
“Wake up! It’s time to grab the day by the coffee beans.”
“Good morning! My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my passionate relationship with my bed.”
“Rise and shine! Or just rise. Let’s not set unrealistic goals.”
“Good morning! Remember, a yawn is a silent scream for coffee.”
“Wake up and smell the possibilities… or is that just coffee burning?”
“Good morning! Today’s goals: Coffee, avoiding people, and more coffee.”
“Rise and shine! Or rise and whine. We’re flexible here.”
“Good morning! Be as strong as your coffee and as bright as the sun.”
“Wake up! Another day, another 24 hours of trying to adult.”
“Good morning! It’s time for rise and shine, not rise and whine!”
“Rise and shine! If you can’t shine, then at least sparkle a little.”
“Good morning! Remember: Stressed spelled backward is desserts.”
“Wake up! Life is short and so is your snooze button.”
“Good morning! May your coffee be strong and your patience stronger.”
“Rise and shine! It’s time for coffee and maybe some more coffee.”
“Good morning! If anyone asks, we’re on a break (says me to my bed).”
“Wake up! It’s time to get up and feel the same as you did last night.”
“Good morning! May your day be as exciting as the first slice of bread.”
“Rise and shine! Or rise and complain. We support both here.”
“Good morning! Let’s start the day with a huge smile… after coffee.”
“Wake up! It’s time to do that thing called ‘getting ready for the day.'”
“Good morning! Remember, every morning is a beauty contest between you and the reflection in the mirror.”
“Rise and shine! The best part of waking up is still a mystery.”
“Good morning! Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.”
“Wake up! Today is a new day to worry about the future.”
“Good morning! Let’s start the day with a positive attitude and end it with a bottle of wine.”
“Rise and shine! Or rise and dine. Breakfast is waiting.”
“Good morning! To the people who make my coffee, not all heroes wear capes.”
“Wake up! Today’s mission: Be a better person than yesterday (but not as good as you’ll be tomorrow).”

At Saysquotes.com, you will discover a treasure trove of quotes about the spirit of life, the feeling of success, and the lessons learned from failure. Whether you’re looking for a motivation, a gentle smile, or profound wisdom, you’ll find it here.

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Good Morning Funny – Funny Good Morning Quotes